Read time: 3 min.

Yesterday, I screwed up.

I had a plan. It was solid. I was going to crush it.

But then… the day happened.

I fell into old habits, wasted time, and didn’t get nearly as much done as I wanted.

By the end of the day, I felt like absolute crap.

I was disappointed in myself. So I made a promise:

“Tomorrow, I’ll do better.”

I rushed upstairs, brushed my teeth, and jumped into bed like I was in a race.

But as soon as my head hit the pillow... nothing.

I was tossing and turning from side to side and couldn’t sleep.

You’d think being fired up for tomorrow would help, right?

But no.

The motivation felt off.

It was anxious, rushed, and anything but inspiring.

Running on toxic fuel

Yes, I was motivated. But for all the wrong reasons.

It wasn’t because I had a purpose. It wasn’t because I was inspired. I was just trying to escape the disappointment I felt in that moment.

And that, my friend, is a dangerous place to be.

This kind of motivation is like cheap fuel. It burns fast, gets you moving, but then burns out just as quick. It’s not sustainable.

Yet, we confuse this with progress.

We tell ourselves, “This is what’s going to push me to do better.”

But is it really?

I had to stop and ask myself: What am I actually running from?

And the answer was clear: my own failure.

I didn’t want to feel like I had let myself down, so I kept pushing—desperately trying to outrun that feeling.

But then I tried something different.

I let the disappointment in.

Letting Go of Resistance

At first, it sucked. But after a while, something changed.

That self-criticizing voice started to fade. And instead of being hard on myself, I found a little compassion.

The moment I stopped resisting, the tension disappeared. And just like that, I fell asleep.

The next morning, I woke up feeling... light.

No stress, no resentment. Just a fresh start.

And here’s the kicker:

I was far more productive.

I had more energy, more focus, and I got more done—all because I let go of that resistance the night before.

All suffering is resistance

The deeper lesson to be learned here is that all suffering is created by resistance.

Pain is inevitable. Setbacks, challenges, failure—they’re all part of life.

But suffering? That’s on you.

It’s the battle against reality that eats your energy, not the pain itself.

So my advice? Lean into it.

The smartest thing you can do is start by letting go of the fight.

Next time you feel that anxious, rushed motivation, stop and ask yourself: “What am I really running from?” Then let it go.

Your productivity—and peace of mind—will thank you.

Much love,

— Martijn