Read time: 3 min.

Last week I wrote about slowing down.

This week I did the opposite.

The book deadline is June 1st. I'm simultaneously setting up a new YouTube channel, interviewing editors and VA's on Upwork, doing coaching sessions, and somehow trying to keep all of it moving at once. My days are completely full. There is not a single moment where nothing is happening.

And yet, every night, I put my head on the pillow and fall straight asleep.

That's new.

What pressure used to do to me

A few years ago, a period like this would have destroyed me.

Not the workload itself. But what the workload did to my head.

I'd lie in bed mentally checking things that were already done. Replaying decisions. Worrying about outcomes I couldn't control. The day would end but my nervous system wouldn't get the memo. Sleep felt less like rest and more like eventually losing the battle against exhaustion.

The stress didn't come from the work. It came from my relationship with it. The need to control everything. To be on top of everything. To be responsible for every detail at every moment.

I called it being thorough.

But honestly, it was just fear.

What self-regulation actually means

People talk about self-regulation like it's a productivity hack. A morning routine. A breathing exercise.

But what I've come to understand is that it's something much deeper than that.

It's the ability to feel the full weight of a situation without being crushed by it. To hold pressure without letting it hold you. To work at complete capacity during the day and genuinely let go when the day ends.

Not because the work is finished. It never is.

But because you've learned the difference between what deserves your attention right now and what can wait until morning.

That distinction took me years to develop. And it's the reason I can run at this pace without falling apart.

Not because I'm tougher than I was.

Because I know myself better.

The thing underneath the chaos

Here's what I've noticed in periods like this.

The external chaos is almost irrelevant. What determines whether you survive it, or whether it breaks you, is entirely internal. Two people can face identical pressure and have completely different experiences of it. Not because of their circumstances. Because of their relationship with themselves.

This is the skill nobody teaches and almost everyone underestimates.

Not productivity. Not strategy. Not time management.

Knowing yourself well enough to stay grounded when everything around you is moving fast.

That's the real work. And it compounds quietly over years until one day you're in the middle of the most intense period of your life, you put your head on the pillow, and you fall straight asleep.

What this sprint is actually for

June 1st, the book launches. After that, more space.

But I'm not just waiting for it to be over. Because the truth is, even in the middle of all this chaos, there's something that feels right about it.

Not easy. Right.

The pressure is real. The pace is unsustainable long-term. My body would very genuinely appreciate a neck massage right now.

But this is what momentum feels like. And I'd rather be here, fully in it, than on the sidelines wishing I had started.

Much love,

— Martijn

P.S. 1,900 people on the book waitlist now. Still open if you haven't joined yet: connectwithgrowth.com/#waitlist