Read time: 3 min.

A few weeks ago, I suffered from a horror thought:

‘’I’m going to die of cancer’’.

It haunted me on a daily basis.

But it didn’t make any sense.

I live a healthy lifestyle.

Somehow, the thought popped up non-stop.

I asked myself why.

Don’t Think of A Pink Elephant

This is exactly what I did.

I tried not to think about it.

Little did I know, this only made it 10x worse.

My mind couldn’t stop repeating the phrase.

‘’I’m going to die of cancer’’.

It turned into an affirmation of death.

One evening, the thought visited me as usual.

I decided to reflect and realized something huge:

• If you suppress a thought, it creates mental tension

• The more a thought is suppressed, the greater the tension builds.

• As the tension increases, the harder it becomes to control the thought, and the more likely it is to arise at the surface.

A suppressed thought is like a compressed coil spring ready to jump.

Since this realization, I switched up my approach.

Space opened up, tension dissolved, and the thought returned less frequent.

Here are the 3 steps I took:

Step 1: Welcome it

It’s important to welcome the thought first.

If it enters your mind, don’t suppress, ignore, or fight it.

Thoughts are just thoughts.

You have thousands of them every day.

Welcome them.

Step 2: Stay with it

Here’s where most people struggle.

Try to stay with the thought.

• Notice when resistance arises

• Relax your shoulders

• Feel what needs to be felt

• Let the thought wander your consciousness

You don’t have to become friends with it.

Just give it some space.

Step 3: Let the tension dissolve

Finally, allow the thought to leave whenever it wants.

Don’t engage in dialogue with it.

If you engage, you signal the brain that it’s of importance.

It’s important to repeat this process with any intrusive thoughts you get in the future.

If you do this often enough, the thought loses its emotional relevance to the mind.

Remember:

Fighting creates tension.

Welcoming creates space.

Dissolve the tension and the thought will too.

I hope this helped.

Your friend,

— Martijn